Summary: Meditations for Mortals takes us on a liberating journey towards a more meaningful life – one that begins not with fantasies of the ideal existence, but with the reality in which we actually find ourselves.
MY THOUGHTS:
Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks was among my top reads of 2022, which inclines me to pick up anything else he writes.
He suggests the uplifting benefit of the 'Done' list, as opposed to the guilt-inducing 'To Do.' For, 'it implicitly invites you to compare your output to the hypothetical situation in which you stayed in bed and did nothing at all.'
He addresses how to tackle reading lists in our culture of TMI, for as he says, it's evident in the 21st century that we're no longer hunting for needles in haystacks but facing towering mountains of needles. Treating our TBR piles as rivers instead of bottomless buckets is key here. We can dip in to pick a few choices here and there, without feeling guilty for letting others simply float past, even those deemed special or important by others. We should resist the urge to stockpile knowledge in our reading, and simply trust that each good book is subtly changing us into better people. Oh, and it's quite okay to read just for fun.
Regarding self-esteem, Burkeman suggests that too many of us tether it to the most crazy-making standard of all, which is 'realizing our potential.' This is a recipe for staying ever restless, for how can we ever know there is not more potential left to realize?
Then there's the TMI of daily living in our world of western media and digital technology. The horror and injustice of the whole world is flashed before us daily, with the implicit demand that we react with heartache and empathy every single time. Burkeman breaks the news that social media platforms invite us to care about more human suffering than the greatest saints in history would have encountered in their entire lives. No wonder compassion burn-out hits some of us so hard. His advice is not to retreat into our shells, overcome by the sheer hopelessness of it all, but simply to focus on one single battle we're willing to get involved with.
He echoes advice I always seem to need hearing. Worrying is trying to figure out ways to cross bridges we may never even come to! (It's similar to Mark Twain's wisdom about refusing paying debts we may never owe, Jesus' teaching that every day has trouble enough of its own, or perhaps the old proverb, 'Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.') To all this, Burkeman would add, 'Don't let the future destroy the present!' This has been a major stumbling block of my life, so I always appreciate having it reinforced.
Very interestingly, he's isolated the optimum number of hours required to chip away at our passion projects or professional goals, before our brains turn to mush and diminishing returns set in. It is just 3 - 4 hours! Therefore we'd do well to set non-negotiable rings around this time block, and let the rest of the day fritter itself away in the inevitable paperwork, errands, walks and socializing, or what Burkeman calls the 'usual fragmentary chaos of life.' Yet without being too rigid, we ought to make this goal 'daily-ish' for things have a way of happening.
One thing I have trouble agreeing with is Burkeman's notion of 'scruffy hospitality.' This is allowing ourselves to be 'real' when we invite people over, and not putting it off until everything is perfect. Although I always feel refreshed as the recipient of scruffy hospitality, I fear I'll never be able to embrace this one. It goes too much against my upbringing, and as my in-laws are also pretty perfectionistic, it's a double whammy. Besides, there is always a fear lurking that my 'pristine' is a match for other people's 'scruffy' anyway. So nope, I think I'll always be running around with dusters and vacuum cleaners to create the illusion that I've got my act together.
But the theory is good.
I'll finish off with his comment about 'what premodern people knew.' It is simply that since life is so inherently confusing and precarious, then joy, if it's ever to be found at all, is going to have to be found now, in the midst of confusion and precariousness.
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