Remarkable Causes of Death in Books

This list was inspired by today's date which you see above. Just for the record, I have no superstition regarding Friday the 13th whatsoever, but traditional bad luck day will suffice as well as any other for a list of this nature. There have been many weird and unique causes of untimely deaths in some of my favourite stories, which deserve to be highlighted. I consider these people to be victims of extreme misfortune, as opposed to their own stupidity. (That gets into Darwin Award territory, named after the great scientist because the victims unwittingly remove themselves from their gene pool through natural selection. But that's a list for another day maybe.)

Warning: Beware of spoilers, in a list of this nature!

 1) Remy Legaludec (murdered by powdered peanut shavings)

His employer, Leigh Teabing, is a kindly, Tweed-suited British professor on the surface, but a heartless crook in his secret life. When Remy, the faithful manservant, gets too close to some shocking truths, Teabing uses his severe food allergy against him. He simply sprinkles some peanut shavings from the bottom of a bag into a bottle of cognac. It's the perfect crime, since it's totally invisible and even allows Teabing to take a swig himself before handing the deadly weapon on to poor old Remy. Causing intentional anaphylaxis is a vicious action indeed. I'd recently discovered my own toddler son's severe peanut allergy while reading this book, so this particular incident from The Da Vinci Code stuck in my mind. 

2) The Wicked Witch of the West (melted after being drenched by a bucket of water)

It turns out this woman is so foul that any contact with the cleansing property of H2O is bound to finish her off. But Dorothy doesn't realise this when she loses her temper and heaves the contents of that mop bucket over her oppressor. It's a brilliant stroke of luck, since she and her friends aimed to assassinate the witch all along, but just couldn't figure out how to do it. I guess the fact that their enemy had no blood flowing in her veins could've tipped them off that she was no predictable mortal being. Toto discovers this earlier, when he bites her leg. Good riddance. (My review of the book is here.)

3) The Wicked Witch of the East (crushed by a house landing on her)

Same book, different baddie. This menace just happens to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time when a house which has been sucked up in a cyclone all the way in Kansas comes down and squashes her. Oops.

4) Hamlet Senior (poison poured in his ear as he napped)

The king of Denmark is having a doze in his own orchard when his nasty brother creeps over with a potent poison vial and does the dirty deed. It's a terrible way to die, since the concoction curdles the king's blood and makes his whole body erupt into boils. Claudius simply wanted the chance to reign as king himself, and it works. He even makes a successful move on his brother's widow. But the poor gentleman's ghost spends a lot of effort trying to help his son figure out exactly what happened, so justice may be served. 

5) Peter Pettigrew (strangled by his own artificial hand)

The little rat-faced wizard is a victim of what appeared to be one of Lord Voldemort's rare generous gestures to his followers. But it turns out old Voldy had an ulterior motive in giving Pettigrew an awesome silver hand. Any time he was to show the slightest tinge of mercy toward Harry Potter and his cause, his own digits were hexed to take him straight out of the picture. And Pettigrew momentarily relaxs his grip while trying to strangle Harry, who has just reminded him of the debt he owes him when Harry spared his life once before. 

6) Heathcliff (the big old meanie died of love - pure and simple)

The formidable oppressor of two family lines receives ghostly visitations from his one true love, Catherine Earnshaw, to such an extent that he neglects to eat or sleep. His triumphant, joyous, self-induced hunger strike has just the effect he'd hoped for. And the servant, Nelly Dean, sort of knew it all along, but she also knows she'd appear crazy to say so. (See my review of Wuthering Heights.)

7) Beatrice Burnley (plummeted down a well)

Poor Ilse's mother in L.M. Montgomery's Emily of New Moon is simply walking home from a day out when she falls down a well in the dark. The accident is witnessed by nobody, and her volatile husband assumes she did the dirty on him and eloped with another man, leaving her baby behind. But nope, Beatrice lies down in her watery grave for thirteen years, until some sixth sense of Emily Byrd Starr helps locate her remains. (I guess this scenario begs a question based on the classical tree in the woods conundrum. If a person falls down a well in the darkness with nobody to witness, does her scream make a sound? I'm pretty sure it would! This is grim material for a kids' book, but very memorable. Review not too far away.) 

8) Mr Krook (Spontaneous Human Combustion) 

The old owner of the creepy rag-and-bottle shop in Dickens' London simply bursts into flames. Two young clerks, Guppy and Jobling, detect some sort of strange, oily ash in the air and assume it's an overdone steak or two from the kitchen of the local pub. Little do they know it's the vaporised remains of Krook himself. It's very bad timing for them, since they had an appointment with him that very night, to acquire a crucial document. (See my review of Bleak House.)

9) Moaning Myrtle (Came face to face with a basilisk in the loo)

Such an encounter is sadly fatal, and Myrtle's guard was down, because she was hiding from school bullies in a cubicle. Alas, the biggest menace of all was at large, slithering through the pipes. Poor Myrtle never gets over the unfairness of it all. She's doomed to haunt that toilet block and Hogwarts' plumbing forever after, but does try to make the most of it by chatting up any cute boys she encounters in her life, or rather her existence. 

10) Sisera (Head nailed to the ground with a tent peg)

There are several gruesome Biblical causes of death, but I'll choose just one to round my list up to ten. This Canaanite military commander makes the fatal mistake of accepting hospitality from an unassuming Hebrew woman. Jael, the lady, gives him warm milk and a cosy rug. She assures him he can lie down safely in her tent dwelling, but as soon as the exhausted soldier is dead to the world, she creeps over with the hammer and peg and swiftly impales his temple to the ground. For that, Jael is celebrated through church history as one of the brave women of the faith! 

Do you feel regret for my poor choices. Please feel free to suggest any other bizarre and remarkable literary deaths that may spring to your mind. And enjoy Friday the 13th, if that is your thing.