Marianne Dashwood wears her heart on her sleeve, and when she falls in love with the dashing but unsuitable John Willoughby she ignores her sister Elinor's warning that her impulsive behaviour leaves her open to gossip and innuendo. Meanwhile Elinor, always sensitive to social convention, is struggling to conceal her own romantic disappointment, even from those closest to her. Through their parallel experience of love—and its threatened loss—the sisters learn that sense must mix with sensibility if they are to find personal happiness in a society where status and money govern the rules of love.
MY THOUGHTS:
This is a re-read, the last time being long ago. Basically, it's a probing story about the opposite reactions shown by the two Dashwood sisters when it looks as if bust-ups with their respective boyfriends are inevitable. Marianne is an intense, hysterical girl with no self-command or emotional backbone to help her weather the blow, but then there is Elinor, who has sense enough to refrain from non-productive histrionics, even though she feels just as bereft and horrible.
She's often overlooked by readers, but Elinor Dashwood is now my favourite Jane Austen heroine, especially in the role model sense. She has a kind heart, yet her bulldust radar is so finely tuned, she won't be duped by anybody. There's no way an ulterior motive can slip past this girl, yet she doesn't hold it against people. She's canny but not cynical. She can sniff a phony a mile off, yet still gives others the common kindness and courtesy she believes anyone deserves. Such acute perception doesn't always go hand in hand with such generosity, and I salute her for it. Another thing Elinor doesn't do is wear her feelings on her sleeve to be seen by all, yet Austen makes it clear that she feels them no less deeply.
I also cheer her love interest, Edward Ferrars, a young man brought up in a ridiculously showy and pretentious family unit who persists in believing that a modest, quiet life will suit him to a tee. He actually reminds me of my husband. Edward is never one for flowery expressions and earnest creativity himself, yet is willing to listen to those who are. His supreme moment, of course, is when he allows his family to disown him for the sake of the principle at stake, even though it's not at all to his own benefit to dig in his heels. What an honourable guy!
Oh gosh, Marianne's meltdown lasted months! What a girl to place all her eggs in one basket. Having a fixed and one-track mind might sound romantic, but Austen suggests through Marianne that it's a recipe for misery. Her rudeness and contempt for well-meaning friends does her no favours either. She just doesn't grasp that self-command and self-distraction are reasonable coping tools, and simply assumes Elinor doesn't feel as deeply as she does. Or at least, she doesn't start getting it until the end of the story.
One thing I've notice divide readers is whether or not the handsome young bounder Willoughby deserves our sympathy, when we discover that he regrets jilting Marianne after all. It's a 'No way!' from me. How dare he ghost her, leaving her to wonder whatever she did to upset him, rather than being man enough to at least own up about his predicament. His callous treatment of other young women as playthings clinches it. At best he's a selfish brat who looks out for Number One, and at worst he's a dangerous jerk who preys on, and ruins, innocent lives.
I think Elinor nails it when she basically says that Willoughby pines for Marianne just because she's forbidden fruit, and that if he had married her, he'd surely notice greener grass elsewhere before long. (Yet having said that, I admit to being glad his life wasn't too bad in the final wrap-up. Although we readers see through him, Austen has a way proving that we're not immune to a cute face and cheery smile.)
Oh, if only the alternative she'd written for Marianne got my thumbs up! It's the most disturbing part for me. The Marianne/Colonel Brandon match strikes me as terribly wrong on so many different levels! Sure, he's a good egg and a great catch, but not for this girl! She was clearly still on the rebound from Willoughby when her family started hatching their plan. Marianne had never spared one romantic thought for the colonel to justify her loved-ones' scheming. She'd always regarded him as a sort of asexual, grave, paternal gentleman who's way too old for her.
Things were different in the Regency Era, but a 36-year-old guy with the hots for a 17-year-old girl does seem way creepy. Especially when he's the guardian of another girl her same age, and she reminds him of that girl's mother, who he once had a passion for. But the coercion from all sides for Marianne to marry him comes on the heels of her genuine regret for the trouble she'd caused everyone, and her desire to make amends. I can't help feeling they all just wore her down, and there's no way she could muster the sensual feelings a girl should feel for her husband. Nope, I can't believe this is a rational decision from either Marianne Dashwood or Jane Austen. In fact, it could be one of my least favourite Austen decisions ever.
Luckily for me I back Elinor and Edward all the way, or the book might have been one big letdown, as far as romantic stakes go. Not only are they a more reasonable age for each other, but they both lack personal greed and have plenty of understanding for others. That's a great combo for a marriage, and they'll surely go from strength to strength. When your ambitions and expectations are modest, happiness is far more attainable.
One extra thing that sticks in my mind is the pleasant dynamics in the Dashwood home, including the affection each of the girls is willing to extend toward her sister's boyfriend, teasing them like real brothers. I think Willoughby missed out on far more than he ever realised by his final decision.
So all up, this book is a bit of a pendulum for me, when it comes to Jane Austen. Favourite heroine - Elinor Dashwood. Least favourite match - Marianne and Colonel Brandon. Perhaps they cancel each other out.
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Hi Jo'Ann, it is well worth a read 👍
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