Wednesday, July 24, 2024

'Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel' by Michael Gerard Bauer


Ishmael has made it to the Senior School and things are really looking up. His nemesis and chief tormentor Barry Bagsley has finally decided to leave him alone, while his dream girl and chief goddess Kelly Faulkner has finally decided not to. Has he broken free of Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome at last? Could his remaining two years at St Daniel's College actually be described as 'normal'? Absolutely not. Ishmael's mates critique the Ishmael books: Ignatius Prindabel: I found 37 factual errors. Scobie: Harry Potter for those with an IQ higher than the mean. Bill Kingsley: Funnier than the Arcturian Grendel-Worm. Razzman: Short on chicks, that's all I'm saying.

(Haha, this is one of the more entertaining official blurbs I've read. Got to love the boys' critique of this series which they feature in.) 

MY THOUGHTS:

This is the final installment of the funny but perceptive high school trilogy that begins with Don't Call Me Ishmael. There was a copy of this last novel available as an e-book from the library, so I borrowed it.

It takes Ishmael and his four best friends through Years 11 and 12 at St. Daniel's. They study Hamlet in Mr Slattery's English class and actually take on board some life lessons from the Elizabethan era; every teacher's dream. 

I'm assuming that anyone reading this review will be familiar with the characters of the five boys from the first two novels.

James Scobie pushes his boundaries to consider attempting a bit of sport, Bill Kingsley comes out of the closet (not a spoiler since he makes his big reveal early on in the book), and Ignatius Prindabel quietly amazes the others by becoming a drawcard for nerdy science chicks. Orazio Zorzotto seriously considers boosting his grades, if it may lead to being a P.E. teacher some day. As for Ishmael, he initially loses Kelly Faulkner when she relocates to New Zealand with her family. Yet when she returns, suffering depression, he makes it his personal goal to turn the light back on in those ice-blue eyes. 

The novel's title is truly inspired. The 'hoops' aren't referring to the fact that Bill Kingsley has made himself trim and buff by spinning hula hoops. It's partially drawn from Hamlet, when Polonius tells his son, Laertes, 'Those friends thou hast and their adoption tried, grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.' The boys interpret it to mean, 'Hold your true friends tight with the strongest bonds you can find.' 

Given all the merciless happenings that take place at school, they truly need each other, even Razz and Prindabel. At one point, Razz tells Bill, 'If you're crossing the stream, don't disturb the piranhas.' I appreciate how Bauer, who has worked in the education system, appreciates what a minefield it can be. In all honesty, I've never had as rough a life since I left High School.

 Finally, the boys draw upon their 'hoops of steel' bond in a most creative manner.

The best aspect of this book is the empowering, underlying motivation to set our sights on worthy goals, refusing to let the apparent impossibility of achieving them intimidate us. Our quintet set their sights on winning their House Cup for Miss Tarango, giving it their all. Their eagerness helps them to invent and maximise opportunity rather than focusing on brick walls. They become creative, possibility thinkers, each drawing from their own unique strengths for the sake of the whole. Orazio describes his theory of how 'reverse cool' can become cool again, and it almost makes sense with these boys and their teamwork.

Now, is there a drawback of this book? Hmm, I never thought I'd say this of a storybook bully, but there's not enough Barry Bagsley. In fact, although he's sometimes referred to in passing, Big Bad Bazz doesn't show his face within these pages even one single time. Now, that's unrealistic.

 Sure, he made a pact with Ishmael under heated circumstances toward the end of Return of the Dugongs, yet I can't believe he'd gracefully slip out of the picture entirely. It suggests that Michael Gerard Bauer simply had no spot for Barry in this plot. That's fair enough, but perhaps he should have taken Barry right out of the picture with a cross country move or change of school. 

At least Barry's dropkick friend, Danny Wallace, gives Ishmael a couple of straight vodkas at a formal in another eventful incident. Boys will be boys. 

It made me laugh several times, and I do regret parting with these boys. I quite understand how Miss Tarango would consider these five her favourites. 

🌟🌟🌟🌟½   

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